marmite breath slept here

I've just talked to Carly.  She asked why I had no pictures of Mount Rushmore on my Flickr pages.  Uh, hello?   At the bottom of the screen there are page numbers and you can hit NEXT and go to the next page of pictures.  In the event that Carly is not the only technically impaired person out there, I wanted to just clarify that there isn't only ONE page of pictures.  Scroll down!  :)

I had lovely long nails when we set out on this trip.  Now they are bitten down to the quick.  I think this is what literary types call foreshadowing.  Or something.

Keystone, South Dakota is a hella long way from our house.  But we HAD to go and see Mount Rushmore, because, come on!  It's Mount Rushmore!  I couldn't stand the thought of not living here anymore and wishing I had taken the opportunity to see it.  So, after lunch, when Aaron had come home from school and taken Spot to the kennels, we left.  Did I mention the car, and the smallness?  Did I mention how horribly spoiled I have been by having my van and all its spaciousness?  No?  Well, I'm mentioning it now.  The smallness, that is.  Of the car.  The small car that we rode in.  The small car that we rode in, all the way to South Dakota.  Small.  Car.  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! 

I had very cleverly chosen some books on tape for the kids to listen to on the way.  (I love our local library, truly love it!).  The first book on tape, however, made Aaron and I want to throw ourselves out of the speeding car.  It was called Mrs Piggle Wiggle, and while Hadleigh and Tom made snorty laughing type noises and asked us, "Isn't this FUNNY?" we just looked at eachother and sighed.  Conversation was not possible, because, "Mom!!!  You're not LISTENING TO MRS PIGGLE WIGGLE!!!"

And just think, dear readers....you can stop reading this anytime you want to.  I was stuck in this car with this book on tape.  Ugh.

We pressed on, down the most boring road ever made (I'm not lying, Jesus, I wish I was) and stopped in Mitchell, SD to see the famous Corn Palace.   Yes, I said Corn Palace.  It was closed (I'm not sure that we actually even really WANTED to go inside) so we just oohed and aahed over the building made of corn cobs, and then we went to eat some fine South Dakota food.  McDonalds.  Yeah, we're not so much with the adventuresome when we're in a hurry. 

As the evening went on, we did see some brilliant scenery.  South Dakota has such an unusual landscape, and we'd never seen anything quite like it.  Hilly doesn't quite do it justice.  It's very open, very deserted, just miles and miles of land, and some of it is just these grassy hills.  It looked sort of like Teletubbyland. That's a horrible description, but the best I can do.

We were hoping to get to Keystone and the campsite by about ten o'clock that night, so we didn't stop much.  We passed over into Mountain Time Zone, which helped us out by giving us an extra hour.  Watching the sun set over the plains was quite an experience.  The darkness came quickly, and as we read the directions from the campsite people on how to get there, we were all getting excited and ready to get set up. 

This is the part where, if it were a movie, there'd be some sort of creepy violin music.  You'd be shouting at the screen, "Go back, Martins!  Go back to your safe little sweet home!!"  But sadly, it wasn't a movie, and we had no idea that we were about to get REALLY LOST!  IN THE DARK!!

We were.  Lost, that is.  And it's no fun to drive around, knowing that you can't afford for it to get any damn darker or you won't be able to see a thing when you get there.  I'm happy to report though, that after only an hour of driving down the most curvy roads I've ever been on (notwithstanding the Amalfi coast) we made it to the campsite. 

Phew!  That's a relief.  We made it.  Now we can get the tent set up and go to bed.  Phew.  Glad nothing BAD is about to happen.  Ha ha.  Boy, oh boy!  The bad part of the evening already happened, right?  What with the getting lost in the dark.  Ha!

God laughs.  Loudly.

We unpack the car (which had been packed tightly in such a way that it would be near impossible to reload it in the dark) and  Hadleigh is excitedly jumping around and offerering help. (Tom was sleeping in the car).  I busy myself with "Wimmins Work" such as unpacking food items and offering snacks and drinks to people.  I hear Aaron say, "Where the hell are the tent poles?".  Oh, Aaron.  You joker!!  Don't be a dumbass.  They're in the car, where you put them.....OBVIOUSLY!!

Aaron is pale, and even in the dark I can see that his head is about to explode off of his shoulders. 

Oh.Holy.Jesus.   We have no tent poles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My darling husband thought they were in the bag with the tent, but actually, they're in a separate bag on the shelf in the garage.  I have to seriously fight the urge to cry.  Hadleigh is not as brave as me (!!), and she bursts into tears, loudly.

Aaron is from the "Let's Not Panic, But Instead, Let's Fix The Problem" school of thought, whereas I am from the "Oh, Fuck, We're Sunk, Guvnor" school.  He immediately starts looking for rope and declares that he is going to figure out a way to put up this tent for his family.  Lightening flashes over his shoulder.  My stomach just lurches.  There's no way we can pack up, drive down the mountain and find a hotel.  It's late at night, and it's Memorial Day Weekend at one of the busiest tourist places in North America.  There's not much hope.  If it rains, I will just scream.

As I sit there and contemplate suicide (not really, but I did think, "I'd kill somebody for a cup of tea, and I've forgotten the tea bags, and also? Where is the chocolate?") Aaron uses his hatchet to chop up firewood and make tent stakes. (I think he watched a lot of MacGyver). Then he ties a chunk of wood to some rope, and lobs it over a tree branch.  Then, somehow, don't ask me how, because I couldn't see a damn thing, but he manages to get the tent set up enough for us to put the air mattress inside and sleep in there.  Because, as I had said to him five minutes prior, when he suggested that we sleep in the open air....."No Sir! I ain't-a sleepin' on no grass with no shelter!"  If you promise not to laugh, I'll allow you to click here.

The tent wasn't pretty.  Jeez, don't get me wrong.  In fact, when we woke up the next morning, we hurriedly took it down before we became the laughing stock of the campsite.  But man.  My husband ROCKS!!  Because if it was up to me, I'd have been crying loudly and waiting for somebody to wake up and take pity.  But not Aaron.  He's a badass!  He is my hero!

We woke up next day and saw a deer wandering right past our site.  THAT, right there, is why I didn't want to sleep without the tent over my head.  Just what I need, to wake up to find some damn deer chewing my hair. 

We planned to see Mount Rushmore, buy some tent poles (big camping area, we just KNEW that there would be SO.MANY.PLACES to buy replacement poles, right?) and then give the kids a couple of options of how to spend the afternoon.  We set off to see the mountain and ending up seeing herds of wild buffalo. Now, I had never seen a buffalo up close before, and I didn't know what to expect.  This really was the Wild West!  The kids just thought it was incredible.  They're big buggers though (the buffalo, not the kids) and I didn't want to get the car too close to them.  Really glad I saw them though.  It added to the experience.

We saw Rushmore.  It was AWESOME!  I kept thinking, "I wish I had my Grandad with me, he'd love this."  The kids were suitably impressed too, which made it worth it.  Honestly though, once we'd seen it, we were like, "Okay, we're hungry!  Let's go get lunch!"  So, we made our way to Keystone for lunch and sightseeing.  Aaron ate a Buffalo burger.  Hey!  They're probably overpopulated anyway, right?

Then we gave the kids some options.  We could go to the Reptile House, Horseback Riding, go back to the camp to swim, or Old MacDonald's Petting Farm.  They both decided on the petting zoo, because they have pony rides there, and because, well, our kids love animals. This place was well worth the money.  It was $30 for all of us to get in, and if you keep your receipt, you can go back for two days afterwards too.  The kids had SUCH a great time.  They got to hold baby chicks (and saw one that had just hatched that morning).  They played with rabbits, got climbed on by baby goats, watched pig races, went on a pony ride, played with a tiny puppy.  Man, they just loved it.  I'm so glad they decided to do that, because I was dreading having to pretend to be excited over some damn snakes in the reptile place.  SHUDDER!

We left there and went to find replacement tent poles.  Oh God.  It was just awful, y'all.  Awful.  We got a set, but they weren't the right kind, but they were the ONLY SET that the ONE FREAKING HARDWARE STORE IN SOUTH DAKOTA had, and Aaron had to duct tape them together.  I started talking to one of the campsite employees asking if she had any suggestions of where to get more poles.  I explained that Aaron might not survive if we didn't have a tent up in about an hour.  She ended up lending us some poles that she had.  The tent still wasn't pretty, but it was better than the previous night, and we slept much better that night. 

The next morning, we packed up and left.  We took the kids back to Old MacDonald's, and then grabbed some lunch before we left town.  We planned to just take it slow and enjoy the trip.  We wanted to drive through The Badlands on the way home too, so we knew it was going to be a long trip home.  Man, it really was. 

We didn't get home until 2 this morning.  Totally worth it though, because The Badlands were completely freaking FANTASTIC!!  We also took the kids to Wall Drug, which is a popular South Dakota thing.  You can read more about it here.

All in all, although it was stressful, I'm so glad we did it.  It was a spur of the moment sort of thing, and those things usually have a hiccup or two, so we did okay.  I should be in bed right now, recovering from the trip, but as usual, I have to get it all out of my head or I'll go mad. 

Now then, if we talk about going anywhere for Independence Day, please, someone, talk me out of it.  I want to stay at home!!

Oh, and before I forget, don't forget to check out all my new pictures on Flickr.  I think if you click on this nifty little link, it will take you to it, and from there you can browse my pictures. If you click on the picture, you can see it bigger.  Oooooh!!  Cool.  You can also leave comments on them, if you want.  Er, or you can use the Flickr thing on the left hand side of this page.  I believe if you double click on it, it will take you to my Flickr page and you can either view the pictures as a slideshow, or at your leisure.  Damn, all this fuss for pictures!

Over and Out. 

 

 

We got all adventurous yesterday, and decided that we'll use our four-day weekend to go to Mount Rushmore.  It's one of the places that we have wanted to see since we moved here.  Well, honestly, it's the only place around here that has interested me in the slightest.  So, we've thrown some things together and we leave tomorrow as soon as Aaron gets out of class.  Yippeee!!  Excitement!!  I do love a good family road trip, I must admit.  The only negative that I can see is that we are not taking my beloved van (gas is prohibitively expensive) so we're taking Aaron's very fuel-efficient car so that we don't have to sell one of the kids for gas money.  It might be a bit cramped, but oh well, it's only 560 miles.  ACK!!  Have mercy!!

I really am excited though!!  And so are the kids.  Tom has been going on about Mount Mushmore ever since he heard the news.  And Had's pretty excited too.  I hope we have fun.  I'll take pictures and post when we get back.  Which will be Sunday night, by the way. 

Good God!  What a boring post this turned into!!  Apologies!  I'll try to have a nervous breakdown/unintentional pregnancy/case of amnesia or something when I get back--just to liven things up a bit.  On second thoughts, the amnesia probably wouldn't be good, as I wouldn't be able to remember my trip. 

Third thoughts, perhaps that might work......considering.

Over the next day or so, some of my loved ones are going to be globetrotting.  So, Bon Voyage to Mum and Dad (off to New York), Auntie Shazza, Cousins Ben and Joe (off to New York) and Dave, Nives and Eleonora (off to Virginia, by way of New York). 

Have a safe trip all of you!  I want to see pictures and hear stories when you get home!!

So we're on a family bike ride, right?  By the way, my idea of a bike ride was a quick jaunt to the park or something, but apparently Aaron's idea was to make me pedal until I literally thought I was going to barf everywhere. Nearly eight miles! That's not a "quick" bike ride. Oh and my naughty bits? REALLY HURT FROM SITTING ON THE (very pointy) SEAT!!  Try and keep your breakfast down now.  Hahahahaha!! 

Anyhoo (that one's for you Dad, I know how much you love the word Anyhoo).

But seriously, anyhoo, we're riding down the street when I saw this awesome fridge with a sign in front of it that said, "It works.  Free".

HOLY CRAP!!  A beer fridge!!!!  For the garage!!!!  Was I hallucinating from the extreme exhaustion brought on by my unfit ass riding all around the midwest?  Could it really be??

The thought of some other jerk getting it before us inspired me to pedal like I was being chased by "the others".  We went home, took the seats out the back of the van, and drove back to load up the lovely fridge and bring it to its new home.  Awww!  I was all emotional thinking about how FREAKING EASY IT WOULD BE TO CONVINCE MY DAD TO VISIT NOW!!  A beer fridge, people.  I'm going to print up wallet-sized pictures for him to hand out to his friends and associates, because you KNOW he's going to be bragging about his daughter and her new BEER FRIDGE!!  Can you tell I am still giddy from this??  Giddy, I tell you!!

Aaron cut out a place in the shelving for the lovely fridge next to his work bench and tonight I'm going to bleach it out and stock it with Heineken.  It's like my whole life has been leading up to this moment.  I feel a bit emotional, actually.  A beer fridge.  Damn.  Life is so good.

This is one of those pictures that just reaches out, grabs you and just hits you with a realization.  Mine was, "Oh my God!  Mum used to be young!  She was much younger on this picture than I am now!" 

Not that I think Mum is a crone, you understand.  It's just that seeing her like this, a new mother, probably unsure about a lot of things, twenty years old; it makes me wonder what she was like then.  Would the twenty-year-old me have been friends with her?  When she looked at me then, sitting on my Grandma's lap, what was she thinking?  (No, in advance, I'm sure it wasn't 'Can I Put Her Back?').

Will Hadleigh look at pictures of me in the same way?  Will looking at pictures of her young mother make her love me as fiercely as I love mine now? 

 

 Well, it's over.....the Girl Scout year, that is.  We had our End-of-Year Awards thingamabob, and it went really well.  I got a bit teary-eyed, but managed to not bawl all the way through.  I'm going to be the leader next year too (only third graders!) and I'm actually looking forward to it.  I think Hadleigh has thrived and blossomed in Brownies and if me being the leader will mean that she stays in it and enjoys it more, then so be it.  She really surprised me at the ceremony--she actually read her part of the Girl Scout law without fainting with nerves AND she read another part for a girl who had called in sick.

Always surprising, that's my Hadleigh.

She's on "lockdown" at the moment.  We're trying our hardest not to raise a brat, so after some particularly ugly behaviour last week, we are cracking down.  She's in the guest room for a week, away from the comforts of her own toys, books and "stuff".  She's grounded from the phone, TV, computer and CD player (being deprived of her Beatles CD was an immense punishment, believe me).  She can go to and from school, and that's it.  She hates us.  Well, that's not true.  She hated us for about five minutes until we said, "Accept this punishment for crappy behaviour gracefully and the punishment will remain one week.  Complain about it, and we start adding on days."  She's been a different child this week and I'm loving the difference.  Her teacher talked to me yesterday about what a special kid she is.  I hope she meant special in a good way, and not special like, "can't wait for her to get the hell out of my class".

Today Tom has a birthday party to go to, and ordinarily I would take Hadleigh along to play with Emma (the birthday boy's sister, who is Had's friend), but with the grounding, I think I'll just make her return her new shoes with Aaron.  Buying them was hellish enough, but four days later finding out that they are falling apart, that's just terrible.  I hate shoe shopping with her.  Hate it.  But at least we agreed on these shoes--now we're going to have to find some that are better quality.  Ugh.  That means more money.  Greeeeat.  I'll let Aaron worry about that.  I don't like thinking about money.  It gives me the shakes.

Our troop had a camping trip this weekend that was SO MUCH FUN!!!!  We had a campfire, made s'mores, sang songs, stayed up late playing Bingo, had a relay race, saw a deer.......lots of stuff that made Hadleigh really happy.  She didn't want the trip to end!  Neither did I really.  It was a great way to spend Mother's Day.  I did get to spend time with my Toma-loma-ding-dong boy before I left too.  I got some lovely cards, a mug warmer (apparently I am lazy in the mornings and let my coffee get cold), some new flip-flops (needed them) and a Beatles t-shirt (my kids know me and have exquisite taste!).  All in all, it was a good day. 

Except for the plant pot I threw at Aaron's head.

What??!!  Don't look at me like that!!

He should NOT piss me off on Mother's Day.  I do feel that I'm setting up a very dangerous ritual here.  The Thanksgiving when I was pregnant with Tom, I threw a glass of red wine at him (Aaron, not Tom, obviously, as that would be impossible, or, if not impossible, really damn hard).  Then on my 30th birthday, I threw a book at him.  It was Lonesome Dove, so I know it hurt.  He really needs to treat me better on holidays, and NOT forget to get me a card. How many times does he have to see me cry?? The next thing I pick up might be a brick, and then he's going to wish he remembered important dates.  I do love him, and I don't want to kill him, really.  Oh, must clarify, he did get me a card for Mother's Day (I know he'll read this and get defensive).  He got cards and presents from the kids and did a fantastic job.  The plant-pot throwing was just part of a separate ongoing saga that we are enduring.  Phew.  Glad I clarified.  Still, don't all send him "Sorry You're Married to Such a Bitch" sympathy cards.  I think he can endure the occasional flying object from me.  He LOVES me!!

Well, I've got lots of laundry to do, and if I don't get a healthy snack now, I'll end up eating all the junk in the pantry, so I guess I should get some carrot sticks and try to imagine myself in a swimsuit this summer.  UGH!!  The entire internet gets the dry-heaves. 

 

I promise I haven't left the country--I've been camping with our Girl Scout troop and now I'm getting ready for the End-of Year ceremony.  I will be updating soon, that is, if I have any brain cells left.

Oh, and P.S, if you don't think my children are the most beautiful thing EVER, then, Grr,  DON'T EVER READ MY BLOG AGAIN!!!  Because they are BEAUTIFUL!!!

 

 

I'm in the depths of despair.  Our TIVO didn't record Lost tonight.  How will we even LIVE????

Oh well, I guess we'll watch some episodes of The Office that we've had Tivo'd for a while.

When I read this earlier today, I was struck by two things:

(a) My Dad is pretty hilarious, but he really shouldn't drink so much early in the morning

(b) The phrase "testosterone surging" or anything related to testosterone should NEVER, I repeat, NEVER be associated with my Dad.  I can't stress how much that grossed me out.  Dad, can't we pretend that you don't have testosterone anymore?  Let's pretend you're a harmless 60-year-old who potters about in the garden and talks about compost.  Let's have no more talk of hormones from you.  It's different when I talk about MY hormones, this is MY blog!

Now without any further ado, my guest blogger for the day, Rod "Titch" Handley

Written by: titch
Comment text: I am going to guest blog on you. Is this relevant to hormones and ice cream? Wait and see.
At five thirty this morning the telephone rings. Now everyone knows that when the phone rings at that time of the morning it's never anything good like "Hello Mr Handley you have won the lottery" or "Rod, don't come into work today, take the day off". Instead, what happens is you get that instant icy feeling in the pit of your stomach and the creation of The Perfect Storm churning away in your bowels. Jan answers the phone. The churning gets worse as I hear the English long distance operator say those dreaded words " I have Vera on the line will you accept the charges, innit?" (OK, she didn't say innit). Jan switches the phone to the other ear and from then on all I hear is this one sided conversation - and a muffled voice on the phone- that goes something like this:
Hello, Mam? Yes we were but it's OK. No, no go on, it's OK I'm awake. Yes Five thirty. No really I have to get up in twenty minutes anyway. Is everything alright? Oh all right. No, it's alright, really. Rod will call you later then. No really, I am awake. Yeah six hours. Oh go on then tell me. "you've booked the flight? Great". ( this is the abridged version by the way). Oh is he? (She is so sweet)Yeah, sure, put him on. "Hi Vance how are you? ad infinitum........
And then the dreaded words....
Let me just add here that anyone who has the most cursory knowledge of me knows I would rather stick a needle in my ear than speak on the phone, but at five thirty five in the morning....
The dreaded words: " Yes, he's right here, do you want to speak to him? hang on".
Jan nudges me with the phone knowing full well I am awake now anyway.
"Hi Rod, What are you doing?"
"Oh nothing much Vance I am just trying to recreate the fresco on the Sistine chapel here on my bedroom ceiling. I have to stop now though as I have run out of the ambergris color for the Cupid's eyes. Actually, it's lucky you called at this time of the morning or I would have been at Walmart's getting more scaffolding so I can finish off David's hand near the light fixture."
"Yeah, well I won't keep you Rod but I just wanted to discuss the political ramifications of the Blair Cabinet reshuffle with you".
"Hey Vance, I'm glad you called because paradoxically the Bush administration seems to be heading in the same direction and I was wondering if you thought that the synergystic effect of both could have major global implications."
Okay, okay it went like this:
Hiya Rod
Hey Vanny
Howaya
Fine, nyu
Good
I won't keep ya then, innit. (okay then, he didn't say innit)
See ya.
See ya, luvya
Luvyatoo

Well I am wide awake now and my testosterone is surging so I am going to visit the Doctors -not Tom and Jerry the ice cream people that Nat likes - but Anheiser and Busch or Mitchells and Butlers.
See, I told you it was relevant. Innit