marmite breath slept here

Ugh.  I’m sooooo tired!  I mean, these early mornings are killing me.  This morning, someone had the cheek to call here at 10:50 and wake me up!  Can you believe it?  I have a very strict “No Calls Before Noon” policy this week.

Seriously, if the kids don’t come home soon, I am going to just cry.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a great week, just me and Aaron, doing our own thing (you don’t want to know what that is) but I’ve realized that my life without Had and Tom is just meaningless.  I instinctively check their beds before I go to sleep, even though I know they're safe and happy at Mum's.  They're just having the best time.  She's spoiled them rotten, I'm sure.  Last time I talked to them, they were having a Lu'au in the back yard.  They've been to an indoor bouncy castle fun park thing, they're baking, they're in the pool, they're on the trampoline.  They don't want to come home to boring old Mum and Dad.  Their nutty Grandma took them all to Wild River Country the other day and she said that the kids went on almost every slide there!  I can't believe it, really.  I'm just shocked that Tom would like it.  I knew Hadleigh would, but Tom isn't a water baby.  I guess when kids are not with their parents, they're different.  Mum says she's really going to miss them when they come home.  I bet the house will seem really quiet.  I know the feeling.

See, I’ve been totally wrong about what my life would be like without them.  I thought that the house would be spotless, that I would have time and inclination to make interesting meals, and the biggest lie of all, that without the kids, I would have more time and energy to go and exercise.  Oh, how I’ve laughed at that one this week.  I went to the track once.  And it was so hot that I had to get my two miles in and then ride my bike home with my shirt on my head.  Yeah, I actually exercised in my sports bra and shorts.  Even the wild rabbits were snickering.  I am now labouring under the huge lie that I am going to start doing my videos again (Tae-Bo and Walk Away the Pounds).  Why do I lie to myself?  I’m so full of shit!

I can’t even be “bovvered” to write.  I’ve been infected with this laziness, and I don’t feel like doing anything much at all.  I’ve watched absolutely disgusting amounts of TV (really classy stuff too, let me tell you, Footballers’ Wive$, Alias, E News Daily, and The Office—that’s basically all I’ve watched, in mass amounts, oh, and Project Runway).  I think there is a Nat Shaped Dent in the sofa.

I had further proof that there IS a mouse in here.  Well, I saw it, for one thing.  That was a big clue, but more importantly, that little shit has been in my pantry!  It ate some lentils and it nibbled through a bag of coconut (my favourite thing ever—instead of using it to make macaroons this week, I have been eating it out of the bag at random times, like, if I pass the pantry on the way to the bathroom or something, I grab a handful.  I am truly out of control!) and it also ate through my bag of hamburger buns, which I didn’t notice until I’d already made the stupid Boca burger and then had nothing to put it on.  So, anyway, I’ve cleaned and disinfected the pantry and made Aaron put in a mouse trap with some yummy cheese.  I got up this morning (well, morning is bit of a lie, really) and checked the trap.  The cheese is gone!!  Great.  I’ve got a clever one!  Well, like I told Aaron, at least it can’t chew through glass, so my Marmite is safe.  Although Kristi said that there is no danger of the mouse even wanting that.

Well, now comes the part of the day where I put on music really loud and use a wooden spoon for a microphone.  The dog thinks I’m mental, but I don’t care.  I’ve been singing along to Lily Allen (she’s amazing—I mean, who rhymes Tesco with Al Fresco?) and pretending to be cool.  If I do this in front of the kids, they look at me funny, so I’ve only got a couple more days of being silly.  And I must go and eat the new bag of coconut because my thighs are not quite big enough.  Oh God.  My plan of getting rid of everything that’s not a size four has just backfired.  Instead of spurring me on to get back to normal, I’ve decided that Umbros is an acceptable thing to wear every day.  Why can’t I look all curvy and voluptuous when I put weight on?  AAARGH!   I hate myself!!   Well, that will have to be another blog.

Come home kids!  I’m missing you like mad!!